Tuesday 15 June 2010

Man Church

With apologies to ladies with no sense of humour... turn away now! This one is written from a single-mindedly male point of view... and it makes all kinds of generalisations that you probably won't like... (although if you're offended by it, you should probably read it anyway...)

Responding to a recent article in 'Sorted' in which men report being more comfortable in a ladies underwear shop than they do in church... I'm prompted to ask the question 'Does my bum look big in this?"

No... sorry... I'm prompted to ask the question "What does Man Church look like?'

Most difficult is, apparently, the hymnbook... Whilst 80% of men are happy to sing in the shower, and about half are happy to sing at a footy match, 67% resist singing in church.

But that's not the only obstacle - 66% said they were just uncomfortable 'being there'.

Why?

Well, there are lots of possible answers to this... enough that a wide range of magazines and sites have emerged to focus on just this subject... But I think one particularly clear exposé on this is the Rev. John Richardson's article at 'Church for Men' (who's subtext is, interestingly, "calling the church back to men" rather than "calling men back to the church"...)

In that article John says the the church has long been 'emasculated' by something good - the gradual growth in equality between the sexes that finds overt masculinism offensive - which has then turned into something bad - a 'malaise' that more generally undermines masculinity in any form (even if it's wholesome). Over time, this has led to the church 'approving' only those who show 'acceptable' behavioural characteristics... i.e. largely those behaviours and characters that are explicitly contrary to a 'dangerous, authoritative, confrontational' masculinist archetype.

... at the same time, the church has shifted from being central to the national psyche and so representing the benchmark for authority... to being largely marginal within the national psyche, the but of many jokes, and so scrabbling around to try and find some kind of legitimacy...

So... rather like men in general then...

Speaking as a man... I'd probably put it more simply. It's a move from a church led by 'men behaving badly' ... to a church where 'men have to behave'.

The problem is that whilst the kind of hierarchical authoritarian violence and sectarian tribalism that the church has suffered from is not healthy... neither is the opposite. Sure... as a species, men have moments of gung-ho excess... and it's just possible that we act in ways that others might find threatening if they can't see our hearts... However, most of us are sensible enough to realise that we can't just do what we want.

Left to our own devices, we don't feed ourselves solely on a high-octane, indigestion-inducing diet heavy in meat, spices and strong beer... but neither do we want directing to a diet that consists of grey vegetarian sausages with a name that sounds like the noise you'd make if you stepped on a snail.

I don't want to be a half-man... I want to be a full-man... because that's the way that God made me...

I want a place in the church... and I want to be able to be there and be me there... and I want it for all the men around me...

And I want to find a way to get to a church model that celebrates the most glorious truth of a non-male, non-female God... and the wonderful example of Jesus as a strong, gentle, holy, authoritative, loving, challenging, confrontational, peace-making man... and the amazing strength and beauty and wisdom of women... and the startling kaleidoscope of humanity in all its individual differences... in a way that appeals to me, as a man.

I just don't really know what that looks like...

1 comment:

  1. I've got one word for you.

    Risk.

    There's not much kicking around in 21st century church.

    Also, a dearth of strong, Christian, authentic role models means that the next male generation misses out, and so it goes on.

    John the Baptist wasn't a pussy.

    Neither was David.

    Or Jehu.

    Or Peter.

    Or Noah.

    And though Gideon started off as one, he didn't finish as one. And he did some good old fashioned spiritual vandalism along the way.

    Men need risk. And a role model who calls them a wimp if they don't accept the challenge.

    ReplyDelete